what i am not (since 1996)

by 1996, i already had experienced all my traumas. what is the point of this? there are never enough traumas.

i may be wrong if saying that i experienced all my traumas by 1996; that would fortunate, if so. the truth is that the post-1996 traumas were kind of recycled traumas: they would only fashion into something new, a new date, a new occasion. 

why 1996? definitely i can't bet why, but that's what it is. things just are, like i am here, typing, sufjan stevens singing to me, i am here alone, like i have always been, since 1996, or since 1991, since my mother gave birth to me and all this started. 

but then, it is just that i dwell too much on this negative spiraling thoughts, that i am not too many things - and i am not, really.

really.

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